‘New Girl' Season 3 Finale episode "Cruise" aired tonight. The episode started with us finding out that the world's most disorganized former couple Jess and Nick had booked non-refundable passage on a couples cruise before they had broken up. In order to avoid going on the awkward trip alone, they downgrade their tickets for the Lovers' Suite so the whole gang can come along. Coach unfortunately is terrified of boats, but he comes along onto the "floating, all-you-can-eat prison." Meanwhile, Schmidt is trying to get Cece back. He's even commissioned a class ring to congratulate Cece for passing her GED. Upon arriving on the cruise ship, the group discovers their "suite" is no more than a tiny room with six beds crammed together. The ship's safety demonstrator (guest star Oscar Nuñez) urges the gang to get Schmidt out of his "Grumpy Gus" state by inappropriately tickling him.
Jess gets jealous when she thinks the Wave Dancer‘s Captain Jan Nortis (Kerri Kenney-Silver) flirted with Nick. In order to avoid any awkward, she and Nick decide to commit to doing as many activities as possible. Unfortunately, they had signed up for the cruise's $600 "Grand Romance" package which includes yoga where they were instructed to breathe "through [their] genitals," a sexy photo shoot, couples massage, and my personal favorite, towel sculpting. Nick misreads the signals and goes in for a kiss, to which Jess responds by saying "yo" over and over. Winston, however, wants the pair to get back together and plots a way for it to happen.
Meanwhile, Schmidt is still trying to woo Cece. Cece, however, is looking for a phone signal, because she really needs to speak with Buster. She wants to make a relationship work for once. Schmidt just wants Cece to be happy and so he gives up his ridiculous chase. The gang then intervenes each other's craziness in their teeny tiny room which leads to them accidentally getting locked in. Three days later, when the safety instructor pries the door open, Jess shamefully tells him, "We did bad things to the tub."
Everyone goes home back to the apartment, where they have new sleeping arrangements. Schmidt welcomes Nick back into his room and suggests they invest in bunk beds: "It'll be like college, only with a lot more sex. [Pause] That came out wrong."
