HBO's "Girls" had its season 3 finale last night. After a crazy last episode (Hannah quitting slash getting fired from her job, then finding out about Marnie sleeping with Ray, etc.), the finale opens with Hannah picking up her mail. Adam's sister Caroline and Laird (the former junkie), who lives downstairs, are apparently together. And not just that, but they are having a baby. "I can feel the labia forming, this is a woman," says the crazy sister to Hannah in the hallway at the front door. Hannah asks if she can touch her belly, and then forlornly touches her own as Caroline shuffles back to Laird's apartment. Hannah having broken up with her boyfriend for the second time in three seasons, finds out about the happy news of her acceptance to the Iowa Writers' Workshop. Girls has been renewed for a fourth season, but Hannah may be moving to Iowa.
"I got into Iowa," Hannah says to Marnie as towel clad Marnie admits in stream of consciousness that she uses "sex for validation" and she should tell Hannah about the whole Ray situation. The happy news quickly segways into a sadder scene between Jessa and her new boss Beadie. "I will not help you kill yourself," Jessa says. She now realizes that her job has little to do with archiving and much to do with euthanization. "I wake up every day disappointed that I didn to die in the night," Beadie pleads. "I hired you because I thought you were the only person who would say how necessary this is." We all know that Jessa probably is the only person who is crazy enough to say yes to something like this.
Meanwhile, neurotic Shoshana is having a crazy freakout to a metal song after hearing that she can't pick up her graduation materials due to a "glaciology" failure (Glaciology? Is that a real class?). Hilariously, this is the moment that Marnie chooses to stop by and talk to her about the Ray situation. Marnie asks, "Is this a bad time?" in the fakest voice we've ever heard her use. Apparently not noticing the utter chaos (i.e. upturned chairs) in the room, Marnie then decides to drop the bomb on Shoshana, who responds by screaming, "I hate you" in her face while holding her down in the bed.
Hannah stops by Adam's dressing room to tell him the happy news; it's clear from Adam's response to her announcement that their relationship is totally over. He is doing what Patti Lapone warned he would. Meanwhile, Marnie stops by Desi's dressing room, where she gives him James Taylor's pick. It's clear that he's in an emotionally vulnerable place and they start making out. Marnie breaks the embrace, not because she doesn't want more, as she touches his chest and is later seen in the audience beaming like a full moon. "Marnie, that's another person with a girlfriend!" Hannah blurts out. Marnie has been lost all season long and there seems to be absolutely no hope for her, as she keeps making these terrible life choices.
Hannah falls asleep during the show, which Elijah predicts will not have good ratings, and Elijah wakes her up when Adam shows up on stage. She smiles gleefully up at the boyfriend she is losing. Adam is upset when he comes out the back door to a waiting Hannah and Elijah. "Why did you tell me that thing about Iowa before?" Adam is pissed. But to be honest, it seems like Adam is using this Iowa thing as an excuse to break up with Hannah. He wants to leave her, and it's been apparent for the past few episodes. Now he has a reason to do it without it being his fault.
After Jessa gives Beadie the pills, they wait for death to come. Until Beadie comes to her senses, that is. "Call 9-1-1, I don't want to die!!" This is why you don't help your new boss kill herself, people.
Season 3 has overall been a bit inconsistent, if not interesting. There have been some funny bits, some truthful bits, but overall the season was not as amazing as the previous 2. Marnie is left yearning after a man she shouldn't be, Jessa could be convicted of murder, and Hannah might be moving to Iowa. I'm curious to see what season 4 brings, if not necessarily excited about it.
