Watch Jerry Seinfeld Perform Stand-Up Comedy On The 'Tonight Show'! 'There Is No Safety, There Is No Comfort,' Comedian Says About Smartphones [VIDEO]

Tags
The Tonight Show
Jimmy Fallon
Comedy
Smartphones

Don't adjust your television screens folks; you're not seeing an episode of Sienfeld here. You may see Jerry Seinfeld on your screens but that's because he's on The Tonight Show as Jimmy Fallon's guest.

Jerry Seinfeld was performing stand-up comedy on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and offers his colourful and hilarious take on anti-social smartphones with lines such as "There is no safety, there is no comfort," as we may expect Jerry Seinfeld having us laughing on our couches at home.

Seinfeld begins his stand-up on the "Tonight Show" by congratulating the audience for getting out of the house. But then says that everyone needs to feel a "juiced-up hard rectangle in their pants' pocket to feel secure". It's unclear at this point whether he thinks this is a bad thing or he's just stating facts.

He then pokes fun at how ridiculous we look swiping our smartphone screens by saying, "Really? They don't seem very important. Not the way you scroll through their names and your contact list like a gay French king. 'Who pleases me today... Who shall I favor?... Who shall I delete?'..."

He then goes on to declare, "Talking is over", given a choice between texting and talking we all choose the former. The fact that as a stand-up comedian he makes his living by talking makes him feel as antiquated as a blacksmith and he should just text you his routine instead.

Seinfeld in his "Tonight Show" standup says that he likes texts and email. The only problem he has with email is that it has the word "mail" in its name. He then goes on an incredibly mean rant about the U.S. postal service, calling it a "dazed and confused distant branch of the Cub Scouts" and that a system based on "licking, walking and a random number of pennies" is sure-to-fail in the 21st century.

Looks like it's good night for TV viewers as the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon continues on to make an impact every night so who will be Jimmy Fallon's next guest on the show? We'll find out next time.

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