What happens when you dread doing the one you love the most?

That is what Tony Stewart is facing right now. Stewart loves to race cars. He finds joy riding behind the wheel to escape the everyday pressures of life.

But after the accident that caused the death of another race car driver, Kevin Ward Jr, everything changed. Ward was killed when Stewart's car struck him as Ward walked on an upstate New York dirt track on Aug. 9, Stewart may never get back in a sprint car.

During his first ever interview right after the jury concluded that there is not enough evidence to file a criminal charge against Stewart, he said that it is going to be a long time before he will be seen inside a sprint car again.

He said "'I would say it's going to be a long time before you ever see me in a sprint car again, if ever. I don't have any desire at this moment to get back in a car. 'If I had the option to go right now to a race, I wouldn't. I don't even know when I'll go to a sprint car race again to watch. I can promise you it's going to be a long time before you ever see me back in one."

Stewart has been weighting with the decision to leave sprint racing since his 2013 crash at an Iowa dirt track. He'd just returned to sprint car racing a month before Ward's death.

He said "It's hurt for 16 months to sit and be scrutinized for it and to try to give back to a sport that you love, and every time you turn around, you've got to constantly defend yourself for doing something and trying to support something that you believe in and care about."

Chuck Miller, race director and President of the Empire Super Sprints series that Stewart and Ward were racing in that night says he feels for Stewart. He said "I do hope that somewhere down the line he'll reconsider. There aren't many drivers of his stature that have done what he's been able to do for all of motorsports, and especially sprint car racing. He's been able to win races at all levels of the sport, including almost every sprint sanctioning."